Hello, Sweet Friends! It's that time again....chemo eve. Would you join in praying for me today? I'm scheduled for treatment number five (out of six!) tomorrow. Because of where I am in my treatment and the cumulative effects of the chemo, my doctor already was coming up with plan B if my levels were not ready for a treatment on the 15th. He prepared me for the possibility of delaying treatment another week. I'll do what my body needs, obviously, but I sure am praying for readiness as I am mentally ready to tackle this beast yet again and move closer to the finish line.
I've been studying and contemplating surrender recently. I've been the diligent Sunday morning Christian for years. I love praise and worship time. Music speaks into my soul where mere words seem to not be enough. I've felt the presence of the Holy Spirit; raised my hands in complete worship. I always mean the words "I surrender all." And, yet, I've lived in the gap for a long time.
There's been a gap for me, if I'm honest. Between Sunday morning worship and the rest of my week. Little by little, like a petulant child, I take it back..."I do it my way!" By the end of the week, there I am exhausted, disappointed and completely hanging on to everything as if I have any answers.
So, what does surrender really mean or look like? The best example I've found is located in Matthew 26:39:
Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, "My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will."
Jesus, our Lord. He knew what was in front of him. Can you feel it? He went on a little farther until he fell face down to the ground in his despair. Take this cup from me, he says. BUT, your will not mine. And, he meant that exactly.
We are called to surrender our will for His. To trust Him completely--completely in this big scary world full of struggle and strife--a world full of too many bills and not enough funds, disease, loss and pain, heart ache and heart break. But, God. He covers us--1 Peter 5: 6-10
Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time He may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him because he cares for you. Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen and establish you.
That's a lot of promise right there! He makes good on it every time. He doesn't promise a struggle free life; He promises eternal life. He promises to never let you walk alone. He is in front of you and behind you. Surrender means to seek His will and to trust Him no matter what.
I'm praying for you and remain grateful for your prayers that strengthen me in this current struggle. But, after a little while, the God of all grace.....He will restore, confirm, strengthen and establish me. He'll do the same for you!!
In Him, Jane
My bible journaling in 1 Peter 5 features a beautiful stamp set (or three) from Sweet 'N Sassy Stamps: Thankful Blooms, Words of Life: Collection 1 (retired), and Seek Him.